You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
