3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
