Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
