I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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