I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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