the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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