You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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