Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
