U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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