literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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