Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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