I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
