He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
