Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
tell me about the fingering
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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