dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
