you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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