The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
