That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
