halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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