What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
