She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
