she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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