just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
