How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The air was thick with penises
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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