Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
