now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
