the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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