Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize