So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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