I want to walk on stilts...naked
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
