turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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