I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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