No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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