Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
