Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
