dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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