mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
