went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
