2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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