I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
