I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Fuck appropriateness.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
