my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
