I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
