Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
