I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
