Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
