whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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