Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
