Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
