ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
