Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's always time for handjobs
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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