You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
