google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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