I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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