question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So squirting runs in the family.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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