Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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