Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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