so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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