pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
