Non-Jews are for practice
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
