I'm so fucking centered right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
