what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
